Listening is an essential part of communication. But most of the time we don’t liste
n as well as we should, we may think about our response more than listen to the intent to understand. Or, we think we already know what the other one is going to say and we’re often distracted by other things like T.V, internet, our cell phones or something else which can make the other person who’s talking to us feel like we don’t respect him/her.
n as well as we should, we may think about our response more than listen to the intent to understand. Or, we think we already know what the other one is going to say and we’re often distracted by other things like T.V, internet, our cell phones or something else which can make the other person who’s talking to us feel like we don’t respect him/her.
That’s why learning how to become a better listener is very important. If you stick to the tips that I’m going to give you next, you won’t have any problems dealing or even communicating with others.
The 8 tips for being a good listener:
1-Give your full attention on the person who is speaking. Don’t look out the window or at what else is going on in the room.
2- Stop talking and try to be silent. It might sound obvious and trite, but one of the biggest obstacles to listening, for many people, is resisting the impulse thoughts. Likewise, many think that empathy means sharing with the listener similar experiences that the listener has had. Both can be helpful, but they are easily abused. Put aside your own needs, and wait for the other person to talk at their own pace.
3-Listen for main ideas. The main ideas are the most important points the speaker wants to get across. They may be mentioned at the start or end of a talk, and repeated a number of times. Pay special attention to statements that begin with phrases such as “My point is…” or “The thing to remember is…
4-Let the person know what your initial thoughts are on the situation. Share pertinent information, observations, insights, and experiences. Then listen carefully to confirm.
5-Acknowledge the individual’s problems, issues, and feelings. Listen openly and with empathy, and respond in an interested way — for example, “I appreciate your willingness to talk about such a difficult issue. .
6-Ask questions. If you are not sure you understand what the speaker has said, just ask. It is a good idea to repeat in your own words what the speaker said so that you can be sure your understanding is correct. For example, you might say, “When you said that no two zebras are alike, did you mean that the stripes are different on each one?”
7-Use brief, positive prompts to keep the conversation going and show you are listening — for example, “umm-hmmm,” “Oh?” “I understand,” “Then?” “And?”
8- Even if the speaker is launching a complaint against you, wait until they finish to defend yourself. The speaker will feel as though their point had been made. They won’t feel the need to repeat it, and you’ll know the whole argument before you respond. Research shows that, on average, we can hear four times faster than we can talk, so we have the ability to sort ideas as they come in…and be ready for more.
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